Great Moments In 20th Century Music

The history behind Sam Cooke and the famous Copacabana nightclub is quite storied. It was a tumultuous time in his troubled life, and in American history with regards to civil rights. His album At The Copa is one of the most triumphant, amazing soul albums ever recorded.

I hope happiness for everyone I know (and everyone I don't) in 2015. Instead of taking your New Year's Eve midnight moment to make a resolution of change, I humbly suggest that you take the moment to reflect and be thankful for what and whom you have. You never know when your heart will up and walk away from you. This song makes me wish for someone, but most of all I wish her happiness. I hope the kiss she shares at midnight tastes like love.

I wish I could shower her whole body in midnight kisses with all the love on my lips until her trembling self was overflowing, but I wish for too much.

"When I Fall In Love" – Sam Cooke

My two closest coworkers are two Mexican women from Tijuana. They are kind enough to let me speak my poorly crafted Spanish with them whenever I feel like. One of them, Alondra, has the last name Salinas. I showed her the sticker I bought from the National Steinbeck Center in Salinas, CA, that says "I ♥ Salinas".

Me, Alondra and Yolanda went to breakfast together. I told them I was thinking about asking another coworker, Yesenia, out on a date but then I found out she has a boyfriend. Alondra said to Yolanda, "él tiene un corazón roto," which means "He has a broken heart." I said, "Yes, I do. But not because of Yesenia." Then they were asking who broke my heart but I just dismissed it by saying it was a long story.

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I guess she went to Chicago. I saw her, beautiful, smiling with her man.

I wish I were blind.

I'm officially declaring that D'Angelo's new album is brilliant. Haters of the falsetto voice can step to the side.

"Really Love" – D'Angelo

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The lyrics of the last track "Another Life" really make me feel her.

"How does one attempt to be
the kind of friend that you would want to keep?
I just want to say to thee,
even though it may be hard to believe,

the candy-coated thoughts that drift in my sleep
lets me know it's you that holds the key.
I got a craving for confection so sweet,
for the taste of when our lips first meet.

In another life I bet you wouldn't know.
In another life I bet you were my girl.

I just want to take you with me
to secret rooms in the mansions of my mind.
Shower you with all that you need.
Take my hand, I swear I'll take my time.

I'm not surprised to find that angels compete
for the chance to lay down at your feet.
I'm gonna touch in all the places that please,
pull you close, I wanna feel you breathe.

In another life, I bet you wouldn't know.
In another life, I bet you were my girl."

black to the future

I love the fact that the new D'Angelo album is called Black Messiah for many reasons, one of which is that it reminds me of the best nickname I ever had: Black Stephen.

a weekly recap

My stepdad's father died.

My niece wanted to do another reading project with me, so, given her enjoyment of the movie Interstellar, we're reading the fantastic science fiction novel The Sirens Of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut together.

I assisted the game-winning goal on my soccer team with a perfect cross into the box. I was really proud of myself, momentarily.

I saw the new Chris Rock movie Top Five with my friend Teasha. It was funny. I enjoy the fact that Chris Rock is a huge Woody Allen fan. It's not every day you find a movie that references both 2Pac and Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

I bought a ticket to see Damien Rice perform at the Greek Theatre in LA in April.

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D'Angelo's new album came out today, unannounced, and I only discovered it by chance. It's going to take several listens to analyze. I'm not sure people understand how much I love his Voodoo album. There is a select few albums I can remember where I was and what I was doing when I first heard them, and Voodoo is one of them.

The first time I listened to Voodoo, I was in North Carolina visiting my brother and his family. It was early afternoon and I went into my nephew's nursery to lay down on the floor and nap because I hadn't slept very much that night. The reason I hadn't slept much that night is because I had recently met someone, a woman, whom I had been texting all night. My family was in the other room watching some terrible movie and I laid on the floor and listened to Voodoo. I remember that weekend quite vividly. It was the first time my niece had seen the ocean. And I was texting this woman all weekend, dodging questions from my family about who I was texting, cause I didn't want to jinx or spoil it. Sigh. Somewhere along the line I guess I did anyway. But with every flash of my phone I smiled that weekend.

I miss her. That friend that gets everything and listens and who speaks words more beautiful than flowers in bloom. I miss her silky, sure voice lapping on my eardrums. The things she used to say stirred my blood like I've never known before or since. I miss her so badly I make a fool of myself too often. It's a true shame when someone says everything you've ever wanted to hear and it turns out to be meaningless words. I mean, if they were meaningless, why did they have to seem so right?

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Woke up alone and felt as though I'd been dropped deep into a barren forest midwinter. Bad, strange, vast, sad, maudlin dreams that I can't even explain attacked me in my sleep. The dreadful images and the characters, the despair in the ether, are spinning and crashing in my head like a crushing whirlpool spinning thunderously in a stormy ocean.

I woke up and started crying. I wish I had someone to wake up next to who could calm my heart and my head with just one touch of her skin, one gaze in her eyes and one smile. With one warm silent breath of her sleeping self I would know comfort in the night intimately.

My face is wet. The pillow next to me is empty. I cried for all the empty pillows of the past and I cry for all the many empty pillows still to be.

I remember the playground outside her sister's apartment where she sat on the wood and watched as her daughter and I played together, sliding and swinging and smiling and laughing and making up the goofiest of songs.

Oh, what a day(s) that was.

I don't think I'll be capable of posting a lot during this holiday season. I've already begun to feel that old familiar emotional slump quite deeply.

The last four digits of my new work number are 0109. What the fuck, Life? Is that supposed to be funny?!

Anyway. I hate how not hearing from her makes me feel. I hate how fragile I am, and jealous. I hate how much of a worthless package I am. I hate how the taste of her skin has never left my lips/tongue.

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My only recommendation for a holiday song: "Listening To Otis Redding At Home During Christmas" – Okkervil River

"There's a tangle of greenery
where winter scenery ends.
And I hear that song sometimes,
imagine us much more than friends."