Some nights, when the dark is long and the silence is heavy, I softly and quietly run my fingers over the sheets. I pretend her warm and lovely skin is beneath my touch. I pretend that I can breathe her skin in and that all my senses can taste her. Her beauty like a blanket enfolds me for the briefest of moments and I don't feel so empty.

Imagine you were rowing across a black lake at night by yourself, so far out into the water that even the chirping of the crickets was a distant memory. Then a bright white light flashed on and steered your boat across the water to the shores of a brilliant castle. That's what her smile is like to me. A bright white light shining on everything, making everything in this life illuminated.

I wish she'd say hello.

I told my 7-year-old nephew that my new car is a Transformer and that I am Iron Man.

He responded, "That's not true because if it was I wouldn't be shaking my butt."

That is some solid logic.

Great Moments In 21st Century Internet

There's a guy on YouTube called Sparky Sweets, PhD that summarizes the plots and themes of classic literature on his show called "Thug Notes". It's hilariously informative. J.D. Salinger would be proud.

"The Catcher In The Rye" – Thug Notes

"Holden be trippin' 'cause he got a legit desire to search for beauty in human contact, but just ain't findin' it in a world of such ugliness... in the end, this gangsta pays the price for being too soft in a world twisted by deceit."

Great Moments In 20th Century Film/Music

In 1984 director Jonathan Demme filmed a concert in Hollywood performed by Talking Heads. I have multiple stories that have lead to my love of Talking Heads, but basically when a white awkward nerd is the lead singer of a funk/soul band, I listen. The lead singer, David Byrne, has had a big influence on me. This is my favorite Talking Heads performance, and my favorite song of theirs, from the concert film Stop Making Sense:

"This Must Be The Place (Naïve Melody)" – Talking Heads

"Out of all those kinds of people
you've got a face with a view.
I'm just an animal looking for a home,
share the same space for a minute or two.

Love me till my heart stops.
Love me till I'm dead."

Those lines floor me, because I know what he's singing and I know what he means.

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The opening line, "Home is where I want to be" is devastating.

I want to be home. But I know She'll never let me in.

My ipod quit working today.

In other words, my best friend died.

Happy Mother's Day, S.

I scored two goals today. It was nice.

Sigh.

I only half experienced it.

Barcelona defeated Bayern Munich (one of the top five teams in the world) today in the first leg of a Champions League semi-final match. Bayern Munich's starting XI had five of Germany's World Cup winners in it, including Neuer and Schweinsteiger. Götze, the scorer of Germany's World Cup winning goal, came on late in the match as well. Messi crushed them all with two amazing goals and then a beautiful assist to Neymar. It took Barcelona seventy-seven minutes to break the deadlock but Messi and company picked them apart beautifully.

Barcelona vs. Bayern Munich goals

I just want to pin her against a wall and go to town on her.

Arg.

I remember getting on my knees in front of her in a hotel room once, with her against the wall in her candy pajamas. Sweet, delicious candy.

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I'm so miserable.