This Just In

A woman in Saudi Arabia was found guilty. Of driving.

Shema, the accused, was sentenced to ten lashes. But the king of Saudi Arabia was magnanimous enough to overturn the ruling.

Pink Cadillac

what if the serpent in Genesis represents the penis and the apple represents the vagina?

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Naw. Men would have to stop blaming women for the Fall.

Great Moments In 20th Century Film

speeding ticket

The CERN in Switzerland measured the time it took for neutrinos to travel to another laboratory located in Italy. The neutrinos showed up in Italy 60 billionths of a second earlier than they would have if they had traveled at the speed of light.

Meaning the neutrinos traveled faster than the speed of light.

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They measured this some 16,000 times, hoping to find an error.
They recently released their research because they couldn't find an error and are hoping somebody else will.

Ting-a-ling.

Great Moments In 21st Century Marketing

The headline for a jewelry ad:
"Scientists finally reveal the secret to a happy marriage!"

What Sinéad O'Connor has to say

"Too many people forget how important it is to be silly. Well... when I get depressed or suicidal from now on, I'm going to use humour to get myself out of it. So now, the funny story I promised you. A story of Ireland if ever there was one. One of my best female friends has a sister who was married all her life to a proper arse-hole who took a job in Copenhagen for a few years when the kids were grown up and came home once a month or so for a few days. One weekend he came home, spent the weekend shagging his missus and then announced that he had a woman in Copenhagen and wouldn't be coming back again to his wife. Needless to say she was rent, but after some time she met a man and fell in lust/love. At this time she was 68.
One night an ambulance had to be called because she had had a suspected heart attack during a lovemaking session in the first days of the affair. The hospital ran test after test and could find no evidence of a heart attack or any other health problem and for days just couldn't figure out what on earth had happened to her. Finally a psychologist and a heart doctor sat with her and by the time they'd finished quizzing her they reached the conclusion that in fact she had had an orgasm. The poor woman had never in 40 years of marriage to the idiot husband had an orgasm, nor even knew what one was."

Blowin' Your Mind!

I'll spend the rest of my life contemplating the existence of the word "nounal".

It's an adjective meaning "of or resembling a noun."

Nightmares are a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.

You know that feeling of being desired by someone?

Yeah, neither do I.

Great Moments In 21st Century History

"We'll listen politely to what he [President Obama] has to say and take a look at it, but our view is that we need to go in an entirely different direction..." - Mitch McConnell


Mitch McConnell is a gaping, patronizing asshole that should be skull-fucked by Samson and Conan the Barbarian whilst Caligula stands behind and penetrates him with a rugged jagged branch crawling with furious fiery red ants.

There are few things comparable to sliding through a giant city at night when all electricity is lost. Like a soundless, boundless pod gliding through headlight-lit space that unfolds in front of you.

I made eye contact with a dead deer the other night and passed many moments in silence for him.

A six-year-old asked her mother: "What does 'infinity' mean?"

"You write from the point of view that you are searching but you're actually not. But in order to be able to write something... write a story or write a song... you have to pretend you are. Cause otherwise there's nothing to write about. So you have to pretend that there is something that you're searching for... If you said 'I've arrived. And I've nowhere to go now' then you've got a blank piece of paper." - VM

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

California Cryobank Sperm Donor Compensation

Although compensation / reimbursement should not be the only reason for becoming a sperm donor, we are aware of the considerable time and expense involved in being a donor. The first reimbursement payments will be received after your new sperm donor number is assigned. California Cryobank sperm donors will be reimbursed up to $100 per donation and up to $1200 a month by donating 3 times a week. We periodically offer incentives such as movie tickets or gift certificates for extra time and effort expended by participating sperm donors.

speak to me

I walked away from the reading in twilight. A gray cable box standing up from the ground just off the sidewalk had this graffiti scrawled on it:

"Plant a tree for once in your life"

Often I hear everything talking to me at once, and always in urgency. It can be quite debilitating.

I've discovered a course given online by Harvard professor Michael Sandel. It is really beautiful to me and its speaking is not urgent but gentle. I rather love it.

what David Foster Wallace has to say

"The next real literary 'rebels' in this country might well emerge as some weird bunch of anti-rebels, born oglers who dare somehow to back away from ironic watching, who have the childish gall actually to endorse and instantiate single-entendre principles. Who treat plain old untrendy human troubles and emotions in U.S. life with reverence and conviction. Who eschew self-consciousness and hip fatigue. These anti-rebels would be outdated, of course, before they even started. Dead on the page. Too sincere. Clearly repressed. Backward, quaint, naive, anachronistic. Maybe that’ll be the point. Maybe that’s why they’ll be the next real rebels. Real rebels, as far as I can see, risk disapproval. The old postmodern insurgents risked the gasp and squeal: shock, disgust, outrage, censorship, accusations of socialism, anarchism, nihilism. Today’s risks are different. The new rebels might be artists willing to risk the yawn, the rolled eyes, the cool smile, the nudged ribs, the parody of gifted ironists, the “Oh how banal.” To risk accusations of sentimentality, melodrama. Of overcredulity. Of softness. Of willingness to be suckered by a world of lurkers and starers who fear gaze and ridicule above imprisonment without law. Who knows."

Much Obliged To Gina...

for this photograph from Atlanta.

Which I doctored so as to be even more realistic than reality.