one side of a two-sided story

I can't be positive but I think I was repeatedly cock-blocked tonight by my female coworker who is/was attracted to me.

There is nothing worse than being attracted to the bartender. She had sleeve tattoos, chin-length black hair and she was gorgeous. Hitting on the bartender is the impossible move. So I simply sank admirably into her beauty. I didn't want to take my eyes off her.

An older man who was clearly clutching and tapping on his dick as he sat next to me, which I pointed out to my friend, told me he didn't care for being made fun of and "... unless you wanna taste the back of my elbow..." I assured him I didn't, and was only pointing out his rather lurid gesture.
I guess he thought I'd be intimidated. He just changed seats.

Anyway.
This is the best sentence, among many great ones, that I overheard tonight: "Why fight when you can eat ass and pussy all day?"