Dreams seem to exist to make sure that I never get to a place too far on the right side of fine.

"Those birthdays! I told you they're relationship killers. If a relationship is having any problems whatsoever, a birthday will always bring it out." - George Costanza

Ode To Salinger

I designed what might be my favorite t-shirt ever:

"I'd Have Sex With My Wife In A Stairwell" And Other Things Seen Today

I became part of a group admiring the display of a man and woman having sex in a public stairwell. We stood on the other side of the glass as the two copulated on the concrete floor of the stairwell, the woman supine and the man mounted. An admirer banged on the window to catch their attention, and the man looked to his audience in recognition and began making comedically emphatic gestures with his head and torso, embellishing the act of intercourse that he was engaged in. It was clear he felt like a rock star. The people that stood for it were amused and those walking past were disgusted. I yelled to the crowd, in earnestness soaked in sarcasm, "What we're witnessing here is a beautiful expression of love between two people." A guy closer up turned to the crowd and said, "Now that's a fuckin' skank." I told my friend who was shocked by what we were witnessing, partially in jest, "C'mon now. Maybe they're married." She joked that no married man would say to his wife that they should have sex in a stairwell. My reply was, "I'd have sex with my wife in a stairwell."

I also saw someone drew a penis on the wall of the public library.

And now to more appropriately utilize the title "Jesus Harold Christ On A Fucking Rubber Crutch"

Actual headline from January 28th, 2008: "Will Ferrell Receives James Joyce Award"

Future headline as my only option is now suicide:

What a world.

The Drawing

So I sent Rocco a drawing depicting a stick-figure version of himself standing in what I labeled on the page a pile of dog poop. When I spoke with him yesterday and asked him if he'd received my letter he said, somehow both genuinely and sarcastically, "Yes. It was delightful."

My own male psyche is something incomprehensible.

One minute it's longing for the intimacy associated with the warmth and revelation provided by the female being. The next minute it's only desire is a painful, nostalgic longing for the best Mario Brothers installment, Super Mario World made for Super Nintendo.